


the favorite

by imposterhuman



Series: parkner week 2019 and parkner halloween week 2019 [10]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Competition, Fluff, Harley is a little shit, Iron Dad, M/M, Parkner Week 2019, Peter is a Little Shit, Sassy Peter, Tony is done, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, parkner
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2020-08-13 11:16:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20173348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imposterhuman/pseuds/imposterhuman
Summary: “You know,” Harley said, laying with his head in Peter’s lap and drawing lazy circles on his hand. “Tony still likes me more.”“False,” Peter refuted, making a face even though Harley, at his angle, couldn’t see it. “Mr. Stark obviously prefers me. I at least pretend to respect him.”“I respect him,” Harley pouted. “On every third Thursday, a maximum of once a month. It’s our thing. Do you have a thing, Peter?”Peter thought for a moment. “Spider Man,” he said triumphantly.Harley narrowed his eyes. “That doesn’t count.”





	the favorite

**Author's Note:**

> for parkner week day 10: tony stark
> 
> enjoy!

“You know,” Harley said, laying with his head in Peter’s lap and drawing lazy circles on his hand. “Tony still likes me more.”

“False,” Peter refuted, making a face even though Harley, at his angle, couldn’t see it. “Mr. Stark obviously prefers me. I at least pretend to respect him.”

“I respect him,” Harley pouted. “On every third Thursday, a maximum of once a month. It’s our thing. Do you have a thing, Peter?”

Peter thought for a moment. “Spider Man,” he said triumphantly.

Harley narrowed his eyes. “That doesn’t count.”

“I don’t think your disrespect counts, either,” said Peter. “But Spider Man is a totally valid bonding experience that Mr. Stark and I share.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Harley sat up, shifting so he was hovering over Peter. “Mechanic likes me more.”

“Does not.”

“Does too,” he smirked. “Why don’t we just ask him?”

“You can’t ask him if I ask him first!” Peter said maturely. 

Harley, even more mature, flopped on top of him. “How are you going to move if I’m on top of you?” he asked. 

“Harley, I have super strength.”

“You, Parker, ruin all my fun,” he grumbled, lifting himself up a little. He leaned in close, just close enough that his lips brushed Peter’s. With a devilish smirk, Harley closed the distance and kissed Peter, doing the tongue thing that he knew left Peter weak-kneed.

Peter melted a little bit, not even noticing when Harley jumped off him and started running until his boyfriend had already left the room. 

“Cheater!” he shouted, following. 

Harley turned from where he was in the elevator. “Sorry, babe,” he said, motioning for FRIDAY to close the doors. “All’s fair in love and war, you know.” 

“You’re a dick!” 

\---

Tony woke up that morning with a strange sense of foreboding. It was nothing concrete, just a feeling, but he had learned early to trust his instincts.

“Something weird is going to happen today,” he told Pepper over coffee. “I can feel it.”

“Weirder than you buying three new alpacas yesterday for your alpaca farm?” she asked sweetly. “Because I’m not sure how you can top that.”

Tony glared at her. “You know, I come here, share my feelings, and you attack me like this?” he shook his head. “For shame, Pep. For shame.”

“Don’t be paranoid, Tony,” she laughed fondly, kissing his cheek and getting up to put her cup in the sink. “Everything’s going to be just fine.”

Well, Pepper Potts was a big liar, as FRIDAY was timidly informing him. Apparently, Peter and Harley were on their way to his lab to find out which one of them was his favorite. 

Tony was wondering whether or not it was too late to change his name and move to Canada. He was seconds from asking FRIDAY to deploy the Iron Man suit when Harley burst into the lab, panting.

“Tony!” he said. “Tell me I’m your favorite!”

“Favorite what?” Tony stalled, motioning for FRIDAY’s assistance. 

“Favorite kid, obviously,” Harley rolled his eyes. “And it’s me. We’re  _ connected _ .”

“Don’t listen to him!” Peter hollered, running full speed into Harley’s back. “I’m your favorite, right Mr. Stark?”

Tony was definitely not panicking. “I, uh, don’t have a favorite,” he said, wondering what was taking FRIDAY so long.

“Every parent has a favorite,” Harley said. “I have a sister, so I know these things.”

“He’s not his mom’s favorite,” Peter stage-whispered. “He’s not yours, either.”

“I’m not even your father!” Tony protested. “Either of you!”

Both boys raised an eyebrow in a scary sort of sync. “Sure you’re not,” Harley said sarcastically. 

“That type of rudeness is exactly why I’m the favorite,” Peter grinned. 

“Are not!”   
  


“Am too!”

“ _ Are not! _ ”

“ _ Am too! _ ”

“Boys!” Tony clapped his hands loudly, smirking wickedly. “Stop bickering. As it happens, neither of you is my favorite. That honor goes to my oldest son, DUM-E.”

In the corner, DUM-E looked up from where he was attempting to blend a wrench, dunce cap bobbing happily. He cheeped out a smug noise at Peter and Harley before going back to his blending.

FRIDAY chose that moment to send the Iron Man suit, which Tony wasted no time piloting out the window of the lab before the shouting started. Once in the clear (far from any buildings Peter could swing onto  _ and  _ out of range of Harley’s terrifying potato gun), he called Pepper.

“You were wrong,” he greeted. “Something terrible just happened.”

“And terrible things are going to continue to happen to you,” Pepper hissed. “You missed the Board meeting.”

“Ah,” Tony thought for a moment. Well, bye!”

“ _ Tony Stark- _ ”

Tony engaged his thrusters. Maybe it would be best to take a vacation for a couple days to escape the combined wrath of his family. He heard Canada was nice this time of year.


End file.
